A lot of things that we do today come from all the things that we have learnt from other people and the majority of the time the family. if we come from very supportive home the majority of the time we will succeed. However I believe there are six cardinal parental sins that a lot of parents have been committing for years and they can have a really profound impact on their children.
- Do Not Compare your children to other children
We have all heard at some point in our lives from our parents or from other people’s parents ” have you seen what John or Mary has done”. The child will stop focusing on what they are good at and they start focusing on the fact that they are not has good as their friend. Your child might more talented than your friends child but the fact that you have told them that they are not as good as their friend will start making feel like they are not as good as anyone else. We all have different talents and abilities, you should focus on your child’s strengths and encourage them to develop them. remember that life is a journey and that thing they do not know might not even matter in five years time. Yes other people will be better than your kid at something so get over it and by the way your kid will be better at something
2. Create a Home of friendship and support
A lot of people think that buying a home and a lot of material things equates to a happy life. I heard a parent the other day say ” I bought the toys, clothes food and everything that they wanted, what else did they want? Well, emotional support of the family. How many families ask each member of the family what they are feeling and find out if they have any question about life. There are a lot of people out there who are going to offer very questionable free advise so it might as well come from you. If a family can have this connection things like abuse and bullying can be discovered very quickly. Do not make your work your number one priority, put your family first. If you do not do this other people will doo it for you.
3. Do not live your dreams through your children
You should never push your dreams you wanted to achieve on your children. We all have our own lives and know one should influence us. I have heard some parents say do you know what I can give up to go and do that and that. Well you can’t do it so just let your children go on to do what they want. At the end of the day we are all born to do something and we should live each day working towards our purpose. Its not about what you have not achieved its about what your child can achieve the with the talents that they have. When you try to achieve your own dreams through you children, you will only destroy their lives ad when they are older they will be wishing they did what they wanted to do.
4. Do Not Compare your children
I grew up with my brother and we are really close but we are the most different people you will ever meet. We have different experiences and we have different views on a lot of subject. My bother was the cool kid in school and I was a loner in school. My brother was a sort of guy girls in his year group liked to hand around with and I was the sort of guy girls in my year group did not want to be seen with. I was totally different and the fact that I was different made me who I am today. I was able to embrace the fact that I was different to my brother and it has served me well. I meet people who are different to me and I have to work with them to produce results in work. The fact that one of your children is different from your children does not mean that something is wrong with them, encourage them to be different and to be who they are. believe it or not different is beautiful.
5. Do Not try to organise their life for them
I have never been a parent but I think it is much easier to help someone you love organise their life if they are disorganised. A lot of parents do this and sometimes it is the most loving thing that that a person can do. I look at my own life, if you want to know if I am feeling good about myself I will make sure that the clothes are in the washing basket and not the floor. I will be able to find everything I am looking for very quickly. People always say I have not got the time to clean or wash but they always have the time to watch television. The quality of organisation in the house and in their own life will indicate how successful a person is going to be. And for crying out loud there is not such thing as an organised Mess, its just a mess. If you want to help a man to feed his family, don’t just give fish, show him how too fish and you will never need to give him fish again because he will catch it himself
6. Let them Grow up
My last point is very important, I think letting our children grow up is very important if they are going to be successful in life. What do I mean by letting our children to grow up? I mean letting them become who they want to be and not what you want them to be, let them create memories that do not involve you. I know a person who could be more successful in life but he keeps talking about how things are done in his family and how is mum and dad do certain things. Don’t get me wrong, I believe we can learn a lot from our parents but if all we are learning only comes from our parents alone we are missing out on a lot of lessons that can change our lives. This includes letting them explore life own their own. However a lot of Parents find that their only purpose in life is their children, they have not created anything else worthwhile and hence seeing the only person who gives you a purpose becoming some else and different from you will shutter your whole world. However what you are doing is holding your child back and that child will not be capable of holding any meaningful relationship with anyone else apart from you.